official bunny

The other day I was getting some fresh newspaper for the dog. I'd gotten to that point where there was nothing on the top of the stack but those glossy pieces of junk that fall out of the Sunday paper, so I was clearing them off, when I noticed a commercial for "The Official Musical Easter Bunny."

The Official Bunny. I couldn't quite get that -- are there people out there who'd be more likely to buy a little polyester, fuzzy, pastel rabbit music box because it was called "official?"

I looked around the ad, and noticed the name had a trademark symbol behind it, so "Official" was only part of the name. Nowhere do they claim that a particular person or group has pro-claimed it official. Started wondering who would have the authority. Maybe the Pope: Announcer's voice: "In his annual Easter Mass from the balcony in Vatican Square, Pope John Paul II spoke in seven languages to a record crowd of the faithful about the resurrection of Christ and proclaimed Peabody and Wright's musical Easter Bunny (available in yellow, blue, or pink) the only official model for this year. He added that anyone buying a different Easter-Bunny music box will be excommunicated."

Or maybe God: "I think that would be the ideal cute little pink-nosed bunny with detachable posey bouquet to celebrate my son's rising from the dead. Remember the words of Peabody and Wright, "you may request up to eight -- no exceptions please!"

I'm sure there are hundreds of slightly addled consumers scheming to get around that clause and get nine! Sitting there in their recliners, feeling like outlaws, wondering how much bail they'll need if they get caught.

What they don't know is that if people order more than one the company puts two in there and lets them make the rest. Send them by slower mail when someone orders more. People open the boxes and can't understand why there's a tiny champagne bottle rolling around empty in the bottom of the box. Or a red light bulb. However, they're pleased when they see the company included free raisins loose in the box.

At any rate, y'all better hurry now and get some -- "While supplies last."